Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you win again, gameday.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
