I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
