38 yer olds are good kisserssss
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I understand Curling. That high.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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