Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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