your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
