The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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