thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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