I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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