Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize