So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Bring me that man meat
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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