I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
