There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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