Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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