I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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