I want to make a zoo with you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
