I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
