My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
