Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
