She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
