Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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