It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
