I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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