I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
