I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
and she was petting her beer can
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
