I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
sex in a hospital.. check
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize