Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
