You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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