The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
