i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
