$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
