Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
