In the future we'll all be gay
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
