C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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