I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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