It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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