Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
