i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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