Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
