Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
