We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
