Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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