I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Life is so much better after having sex.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
