I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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