Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just googled if crying burns calories
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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