Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
