Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
