You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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