u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
This house was built for laser tag.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
