I bet he comes in French.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
