Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
