But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Be still, my beating vagina.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
