:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
