My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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