My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
