Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
