Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
