I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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