i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
