I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
