WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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