I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
