i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
