yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
